The lady, Her City and Style

“It’s not so much that we coast through life. It is that we take a minute here, a moment there, to taste it, breath it in, really feel it, and know that we are living every moment the best we can. Celebrating victories, seeing cities, picking up our pieces after falling, yet still choosing to rise, elegantly, as ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to this corner of my blog, dear ones. I hope you enjoy the artfully curated memories, reviews, fashion ideas, city tips and experiences I now offer to share with you. In essence I am saying, come, join me, lets shut out the noise and travel life together, and oh my, what a journey this promises to be darling…”

So I am dedicating this page to capture all my wonderful adventures as a single girl on this journey called life and in the cities I’m living in in and places i choose to explore. I understand a lot of young girls have questions around traveling alone, living alone, being alone and so on. I will say quickly that I initially was going to do this with my now ex-fiancé, however, things didn’t quite work out so i am now blessed with the wonderful opportunity to do this myself and grow from it.

It is very likely that I will find my life partner during one of these adventures’-haha…but mean time, I shall share links on my very proper and rather elegant dating experiences, food, high fashion you know haute couture, African fashion, healing, African therapies, sound therapy and so much more. Ready? Start browsing and clicking and I hope my journey gives you learnings and inspires you to live “more”.

White Irises

Interconnections of fashion, nature, mental health and lived culture

Cherry Blossom

Fashion inpsiration

REVIEWS AND TESTIMONIALS

Maya is a fashion icon. I have referred several people to her including young teens struggling with self esteem and body image confidence and she always over delivers. Beyond her work in fashion her personal development program is beautiful and she is very skilled in helping teens or individuals work through trauma successfully. Her down to earth yet sophisticated style is what she also brings to her clients. I would describe her fashion as sleek, classy and expensive looking on a budget. I also recommend that people read her city adventure stories because they are all built towards self confidence and all have a positive theme to share. Best part is she talks like a true story teller and can work with all budgets. I recommend her. Bridget. O.

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With this posts below I intend to share all the juice in whatever city I find myself with you darlings as well as my fashion choices for that day. Oh its gonna be awesome. Just click any of the links connected to the stories and enjoy!

CITY HEALING-HOW STABILITY IN WESTERN CITIES IMPACT TRAUMA

I know, I Know if you know my blog enough at this point you are likely asking what now Maya what does cities have to do with healing. Haha

But bear with me dear ones, I am about to make a point. Pinky promise. First things first, long before I went on a long field trip with a French group from Ecole Normale Superiour in Lagos and Ibadan Nigeria, to creatively map out public places in African cities, I always had a sense of how place and smell could affect the mind out of the blue. I was a cute and perhaps most unusual child, running off into the woods, climbing to the top of trees to write and read novels while fantasizing in my head that I was Ursula in George of the jungle just waiting to be rescued by Handsome George himself before the apes got me.

Such was my whimsical childhood. I remember  one time I had gone with my mom to map a piece of land. When we returned some weeks later we didn’t have the paper map with us and just by feeling the way I told my mom that was the right land we were standing on. Sure enough, it turned out I was right.

I am particular about staying in places with proper yards and well defined house marks because it really helps ground me. This is one thing that really stood out to me in western cities with a capacity to affect the mind in different ways like;

A; Similarly Marked House Marks; If you have ADHD and find yourself in a western city the first time, you can get pretty overwhelmed, even lost. Since most of the houses have similar measurements, and the streets look similar. When in downtown , it would be a swirl affair with all the large buildings. If you have PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) of any kind this is also likely to affect your symptoms  as it may retrigger a sense of feeling lost and confusion, symptoms associated with trauma and challenging mental health conditions.

Bus Regularity: For me, one of the best features I experience in western cities is the predictability of most of the buses and their stations. When not driving, it is such a relief to know that there are  bus stations when it is windy and that the driver will attempt to be on time at least to an approximate as close as possible. The regularity and consistency of the bus’s does a lot to heal the mind if you have been exposed to cities where uncertainty made everyone jump at the slightest sound or the boss drivers were erratic and screamed at every turn. I strongly believe that investing in a solid public transport system can do a lot to heal the minds of commuters as they canvas through their daily lives and also attract investors and boost local economy.

Public Space Arts and Bus Poetry: You all know I love my arts whether in canvas form, poetry or other creative formats. Leave it though to capitalist cities to ensure every space earns its dollar right? Hehe…for me seeing the art works on display in public spaces creates a sense of wellbeing and even fosters community togetherness. How so? At some bus locations with arts, I have started lovely conversations using the art as the starting point. For bus poetry, although this is not everywhere, the cities that have it help encourage a strong creative audience and creative artists, just by providing public spaces in cities, centered around the expression of the self and ideas through well-crafted poetry pieces.

For me, this reduces a sense of isolation especially when new in the city, and anxiety levels as you laugh with the artists and other riders as you co-create moments on the platform of poetry. This poetic rides are reminiscent of the bus prayers in Ibadan and other cities of Nigeria which from a non-religious perspective can be spaces where positive affirmations are performed.

Remember to join the newsletter so you never miss any new city and style updates for that is what this space in the blog is about. Check out the Merch Shop for daily wellbeing reminders in the form of fashion and city snapshots.

Finally, darling, running around your city today what stands out the most to you? Tell me for I am eager to hear…I will be back by Tuesday with a new city tale….Namaste.

In these series, movies or television shows focusing on particular cities will be reviewed In particular, highlighting the fundamental city culture to help any one reading interested in moving to these spaces understand the social culture, what they are getting into and hopefully navigate the city and or new country /continent with more finesse than I did in my first few weeks of arrival in North America…Love from Mayanna Maya.”

Personally, I have never visited Amsterdam, but I did date a lovely Dutch man for sometime and my ears got filled with photos painted with words and captured through camera lens. The city itself is picturesque, surrounding with waters similar to the Bow River running through Calgary, and has a quaint European charm to it that reminds me of the village of Banff in Alberta and Whistler in Canada’s British Columbia.

She hops and bops with her pregnancy like she is a teenager it is so freeing to watch.  These ladies all live fabulous lives in the city of Amsterdam. They are the elite of the elite. The city’s business revolves around their business of hair salons, nail parlors, art galleries, event organizing, tech, and house “wifery”. Yes you heard it from me, being a house wife is A FULL TIME JOB. Lol…ok so they have their partners, we will pretend to not notice they are mostly white which I think its cute to see ladies from other ethnicities being open to dating out of their race and just living their best lives. The drama usually stays off the men and stays profoundly on the ladies.

Needless to say both approaches have their merits and really the best approach is somewhere in the middle between bold and diplomatic. Djamila and Cher have been friends since childhood, both married to millionaires.  The other ladies have a string or two connecting them that unravels as the season continues.

For Cher’s character I actually wrote my review as if she was in front of me. She says she likes directness but when she was told Sheila had the flu, she acted like she felt sorry for her but inside you were like she could have killed you and spoke about Sheila behind her back, mocking her for crying and for being defensive then you accuse her of being spineless and hypocritical and talking behind peoples back. However there times when she called you out straight up yet you still had a problem with that and labelled it defensive. I see that as a problem and a case of backing her up into a situation where she is damned when she does and damned when she doesn’t.

 If Magali really considered Sheila an old friend she’d have had a private conversation with her but it seemed Magali wanted to shame and bully her and make her seem like a bad person, damage her character but it backfired at least initially because the other ladies saw through it.

Let Us begin This week’s city focus with “Amsterdam “ using the The Real House Wives Series

OHH this city’s series, where does Lady Maya begin her analysis.? If you know my blog you know me, I’m gonna start from nature or fashion! Yay..For starters, regarding fashion and style all the ladies regardless of what they think of themselves in the series individually are incredibly styled. Like the well-tiled cycling friendly lanes of Amsterdam.

As for the ladies, They are a fine mixed group of Asian, African, Caucasian, tall, short, curvy. What really strikes out ofc the screen at least for me though is their fashion. These babies were not playing with clothes they came ready to slay.  By the way here is a  fashion for confidence E-book you can grab now for less than the price of coffee.

They wore outrageously fashionable cloths, nails and lashes all done to a T and they take fabulousness to another level. I really love it. Kimmy shows us that being 5 feet 1 inch is super cool and in style. Djamina manages to wear pink hair to expensive places showing us that what you look like does not matter as much as what your wallet looks like, Cher could give Rihanna a run for maternal fashion and her agility with dance really shows the fashionableness of African dances.

Next is Kimmy. Kimmy was childhood friends with Maria but their drifting apart can really be attributed to people individuating in adulthood and becoming more themselves or living more in alignment with their values. It looks like along the way Maria became more of a “ I will be classy and not say things to people’s face” while Kimmy went for “ I am bold and not afraid to speak my mind”.😊

The problem though really kicks in when there is a problem around one of the ladies Sheila not being direct enough and being supposedly hypocritical. I am not however comfortable with the stress they out Sheila through though I understand she can have her moments of indirect speeches about other people’s business. Remember this is all wify or feminine business. You need xx in your genes for this level of game. It gets interesting when Sheila attempts to drag Cher into one of the lingering outbursts with old time friend Magali who goes around trying to dig up information on other people’s life. Cher certainly goes off on her.

Magali lady on  other hand is an old birdie friend of Sheila and on the the third episode really went on her old friend for making new friends that didn’t include her. Honestly I felt it irrelevant whether she has known Sheila long ago or not to just attack her for what? Making new friends that didn’t include her. It was just awful to watch but really the whole point was because there was too many pride, egos, assumptions and princess expectations sitting on the table with these finely dressed ladies.

The final straw for me,  is the fact that Cherry Ann insulted Sheila’s lips when historically black people are being made to feel their lips are too big. Unless the lips are fake that comment was uncalled for to me. Sheila though does speak behind people’s back in a way that may lead some to think of them as bad people.

Liking this so far? Its like the whole story summed up in pages. Alright I will post part two with the photos this week. Stay subscribed darlings. This is your fun city playground for adventure.

CITY FOCUS; “AMSTERDAM” USING REAL HOUSE WIVES SERIES REVIEW PART 2

As promised, this is part two of the cycling through Amsterdam’s social culture, food fashion and love for direct conversations using the Real House Wives of Amsterdam Series. One thing I will encourage as you read this series dear ones is to pay attention to what I comment on and what I don’t. I believe negotiating social circles differ from city to city and calls for subtleties that can sometimes give us mental distress if we are unarmed. So, for our dear Dutch ladies and their ultra rich husbands what comes next? Let’s dive in.

For me, something that was repeatedly icky to watch was the constant display of material pride, egos, assumptions and princessy expectations sitting on the table with these finely dressed ladies. Cher goes on and on about fitting a bar carrier in a Porsche, Djamilla lives in an apartment affiliated with a high-end hotel where room service can be ordered, Sheila goes on about their rich social circle, Magali shames Sheila for marrying an affluent man and I sit on my couch yawning like what next will be featured that has more depth? Then again, this is a show on the material and fashion moments of the city of Amsterdam. I was warned wasn’t I?

In the reconciliation, which is where the viewer gains catharsis as all the shows twists and turns are resolved, other shadow and dark elements of the characters are explored and exposed. The sit down with Cher as she also speaks poorly about Kimmy and her inability to dance is revealed. Really though the person I have seen laugh about themselves easily in the show is Kimmy. When Djmailla (always with the dagger tongue) accused Kim  of wearing fake foundation, leaving her face on the bed, which I found weird that a “friend” would make such comments about another but keep smiling in each others face is exactly the same with the accusations levied on Sheila’s door. I personally felt Djamilla is always upset about something and I like the character she plays least in this season. Several times she will claim she expects nothings from the other ladies Maria and her “classy” entourage who refuse to come to her event only for Djmailla to turn around and hold a grudge that they didn’t come. It  was tiring to watch and she seems to turn everything into a reason to get mad or angry I could not keep up. It almost seems like she is watching for errors and one has to tip-toe aka walk on eggshells around her. If you read my blog enough, you know the type of people you walk on egg shells around are usually……fill in the blanks dear ones, and they are in every city, culture, country, continent.

Someone doesn’t attend Djamilla’s party, she pouts but when it is their turn she doesn’t even bother to text that she will not show up. Someone doesn’t greet her she get’s offended …I am watching the program thinking, well if they don’t greet you, why don’t you greet the other lady first? Is it the Dutch way to be standoffish? No it isn’t so from where I sit, Queen Djamila in my opinion is the drama starter haha in this series review.

Something  I liked The Most about This City’s Culture: When Djamilia said she would organize a ticktock party and have a ticktock move and her pals Cher and Kim called the move Ugly but funny. Nothing like saying the truth to the person’s face even if you do it in a sweet way. It may not be everyone’s way but in this city’s culture series that’s the Amsterdam’s way, the Dutch way and this wraps up the post on this lovely, water surrounded city.

The overlying theme in this series review for the city’s culture clearly is : Don’t be spineless, learn proper emotional regulation and intelligence to talk over conflicts rather than gossip behind peoples back. Now this may just be Dutch culture which has also received critiques for being too blunt. However addressing conflict is always better than repressing it. Essentially combining diplomacy with some measure of directness can be woven into conversations to positively resolve conflict. Long story short, positively talking out conflict in a healthy way without attacking the person’s character or body features like some of the lady’s did is good for our mental health and wellbeing. Repressing it usually leads to a toxic resentful environment, and while it may be hard initially, over time it becomes easier and everyone feels lighter, heard and grounded. That is what this corner of enchanting naturals is here for. And that is what this lady on Her City& Style is here to share with you lovely darlings!

Second Best Thing I loved about the series: As a budding entrepreneur, I especially love the advice Roland (Cher’s partner) gave to Kimmy on her business. We really need to learn to tell our stories instead of getting badgered with other peoples stories! Every day you wait to tell your customers the real story of your brand, you are telling them the wrong one!

And that is our city capital boosting lesson from this episode. Have you watched any episode on the Real House Wives of Amsterdam? What is your favourite lesson or moment?

Tell us below!

The other reviews on city living will be shared as links from this page. Explore below to enjoy them….Remember, you my darling, you are enough.

Explore Below some of the hidden gems of the other part of this blog. Whatever strikes your fancy there, remember to tag @enchantingnaturals for credit. Enjoy…

A fun place to start is by following the story Lyla’s lie, or the natural hair growth journey of three females told below by Maya, Ribs and Twinkle.