So the holidays are here, everyone is cozying up. To friends, family, spouses, and fakeness. Yes, the culture of fakeness surrounds us. You only need to log online to see it. It’s on the street, on our screens, in our homes, in friendships, relationships, marriages and  this iconic fake culture may even capture our very precious hearts.

But what do I really mean by spitting venom and why should all humans learn to do this periodically? In my humble but informed opinion, I feel  this is even more important for women as they’re often the most vulnerable if they fail to spit their  venom. However, everyone need to sometimes sit back and practice this ancient skill.

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Snakes, are sexy creatures. Errr well, if you focus on their slow, sensual movement and their cute tongue or whatever it is biologically called, you’d see its true. At the same time, snakes don’t waste time to spit at an object they perceive as a threat. Why? Because they know in that short moment, where they pause, they could lose their lives, or get seriously maimed. In everyday, life there are all sorts of traps in the form of people just waiting to maim us. 

From a casual date where your (often) male partner constantly tries to put his hands in places that he clearly hasn’t earned the right to put his hands on, to friends who constantly cross your boundaries, take you for granted and think they can always count on you to be a door mat for them, and yes to spouses who tear at your self-esteem every day with constant criticism, verbal abuse or God forbid, physical beatings,  there is a constant need to spit your venom,  and keep spitting it proficiently, like a sexy snake. 

Abusers and toxic people often test you out with little carefully prepared tests, whether they’re conscious of it or not. The less you speak out, the louder the YES! they can hear from you. 
Often self-awareness, and the ability to say STOP, the first time something you don’t like happens goes a long way to determine what kind of treatment you’ll keep attracting from the people in your life, or even the animals you meet, including snakes. (lol,  but this topic is serious.) 

Many times we avoid spitting this venom because we’re afraid to rock the boat, too offend others or that we will be accused of being too sensitive. This is exactly what Suzette Elgin, author of ‘‘the gentle art of verbal self-defense’’, says most of the clients she works with feel. In truth, the best way to help everyone is actually to shatter the boat. Capsize it and let everyone fall into the cold ocean of FRANKNESS. If those involved are worth it, or truly see your worth, you’ll all swim to the shore alive, holding hands. If they don’t, then start your scrawl alone, like a snake, away from a potentially toxic or abusive environment. (that’s what enchantingnaturals.com is all about, kicking out toxicity in favor of sweet truth, delightful naturalness.) 

The moral of the story is, never be afraid to say no, or ” I don’t like this, or ‘‘I’ll walk if you keep doing this’’. And to mean it. Speak your truth. You’re not over reacting, if your instincts feel it, then it’s for real. Moreover, like a tenacious snake, it’s better to over-react and be proven wrong, than to under-react, and be proven right. This means you will be MAIMED. The best part is, the more you watch those lovely snakes and practice, you’ll arrive at the right balance, where you’ll neither over or under react. I remember interesting instances where my gut instinct said something and I ignored it, only to find myself in really negative situations. Take home point though therefore is, better over than under. 

So as the holidays set in with the mood for relaxation all around, it’s time to practice, to go out there, learn a little assertiveness, stop people pleasing, be self-aware, fine-tune your snake squint, (picture those small eyes just before they strike), prep your tongue and certainly don’t be afraid to spit your venom, like a sleek snake.  Does this mean you would be less empathetic or that you should be rude? Certainly not and the next post will engage that idea. For now, go out and spit your VENOM.

The sleeker and faster you spit it, the more portent.

Love always,

Enya,

FOR ENCHANTING NATURALS.

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